LORD LORTHANG RETURNS HOME
Lord Lorthang portrayed by Eowyn
Bafowel and Balwin portrayed by Hobbitness
Narrator and Randir portrayed Wraith
Narrator: *Lord Lorthang had been given
ten days to remove himself, his family, one-tenth of his bodyguard,
one-tenth of his men-at-arms, one-tenth of his servants, and one-tenth
of his posessions to Gondor, he considered it would be expedient
for him to go back to his keep at his earliest opportunity, the
morning of September 11.*
Narrator: *The journey back took two days, and they arrived September 13. Lorthang was very upset at the order to divest himself of so many of his posessions, servants and guards and to leave his estate forever.*
Narrator: *When he and his party arrive at his keep, his daughter, Lady Sirana, and her handmaidens retire to her chambers. His two older sons, Bafowel and Randir, greet him at the courtyard in front of his palace.*
Randir: *Randir, second son of Lorthang, has never done a meaningful day's work in his life, and is very accustomed to the style in which his father keeps him*
Randir: Hail Father! How good to see you back!
Lord Lorthang: *lorthang walks briskly away from his wain and to the courtyard, his enormous belly jiggling as he walks. he looks quite a bit distraught. hearing his sons greeting he looks up and smiles*
Lord Lorthang: hail second son!
Bafowel: *Bafowel stumbles out of the palace with wine on his breath and slaps his father heartily on the back. He sways a little, holding onto his father to steady himself, then guffaws* Father!
Bafowel: Good to see you!
Bafowel: *squeezes his father's shoulders and then pats his arms still guffawing stupidly* Ha ha! How was the trip? *he slurs*
Lord Lorthang: *he pats bafowels hand* and you, my eldest son, so good to see you as well *he feigns that his mood is happy*
Randir: *He looks at his eldest brother, envious as usual but Bafowel is his father's heir and will inherit most all the estate when Lorthang dies*
Randir: *He looks at his eldest brother, envious as usual that Bafowel is his father's heir and will inherit most all the estate when Lorthang dies*
Bafowel: Well! Good to see you so happy! *stumbles over to Randir and drapes his arm over Randir's shoulders, almost pulling him to the ground as he leans on him*
Bafowel: Little brother! Isn't it wonderful to see father so *hic* happy?
Randir: *He looks at him, envy mingling with disgust* Well, elder brother, drinking rather early in the day again, aren't you?
Randir: Aye, indeed, it is wonderful to see our sire
Bafowel: Ha ha ha! Why waste good wine, I ask you? Why waste it? *guffaws, wine scented breath blowing in Randir's face*
Randir: *Looks down his nose at his brother* It has always been your custom never to waste a drop hasn't it, elder brother?
Bafowel: Waste not, want not
Bafowel: Right, father?
Randir: But father, what news do you bring us of the Great Shakh Baggins' feast and are you not back before you had planned?
Bafowel: Ahhh! Shakh Baggins! How did he like the statue?
Lord Lorthang: *his face turns a bit red when he hears randirs question... yet bafowel asks him another. he decides to answer that one instead* ah... shakh baggins, he loved the statue!
Bafowel: Good, good!
Bafowel: But as my little brother here *almost a sneer* said, why are you back early?
Narrator: *Randir, second son, dislikes his elder brother, because he is his father's favorite. The youngest brother, Balwin, does not like either his father or Randir, and did not bother even to come out to greet his father and his sister Sirana*
Lord Lorthang: ah... back early, yes... back early *he stammers a bit* ah... my boys! it is so good to see you again.
Bafowel: *Bafowel enjoys being the favorite even though he puts forth no effort. He feels superior and very pleased with himself, and looks down on his brothers*
Randir: *Radnir, the second son, always has been in the shadow of his elder brother and always attempts to impress his father with his knowledge and cunning ways*
Bafowel: *hurtles at Lorthang and clasps him in a bear hug* Wonderful to see you too!
Randir: *In a low voice he says* Father, it is never good to stand outside in the presence of servants and guards and discuss things that might be of a...... questionable nature
Bafowel: *lets go and turns away from Lorthang with a smug smile at Randir*
Lord Lorthang: *he tightly embraces his drunken older son and claps him on the back*
Lord Lorthang: yes...yes... let us go inside, i was about ready to suggest that *he laughs*
Bafowel: *laughs too, though he didn't catch Randir's words and isn't sure what he is laughing about*
Lord Lorthang: let's go, let's go, no sense in standing out here. *he walks briskly towards the great doors of the keep, puffing a bit as he goes*
Bafowel: *hurries unsteadily into the keep*
Randir: *he follows behind his father and brother into the keep*
Lord Lorthang: *when they all get inside the keep, he turns to his sons* come, let us go to my private chambers. i need a drink. randir, go find your younger brother
Randir: *he sighs with resignation* Yes, father. I will find him and take him to your private study, if he is not so drunk yet he is unable to walk
Lord Lorthang: *lorthang hurries down corrdiors through the keep until at last he comes to the door to his private study. he opens the door and motions for bafowel to follow him*
Randir: *He goes up the stairway to the second floor and goes to Balwin's room and knocks on the door* Brother? Our father is back and wishes to see you
Bafowel: *follows Lorthang into the study*
Randir: Are you sober? *he laughs mockingly*
Randir: Or, perhaps, you have "company" again? *He laughs*
Balwin: *slurred speech of a teenage boy comes from inside the door* Company? What are you talking about?
Lord Lorthang: *lorthang seats himself in a very large ornate chair and motions for bafowel to sit at the table*
Balwin: *girlish laughter from inside, then a loud "SHH!"*
Randir: *Randir waits outside the door* Ha, little brother! You know very well what I mean!
Balwin: I *yawn* have absolutely no idea...*panicked* Wait, did you say Father is back?
Balwin: *whispers of "you have to leave, hurry! Shh!*
Randir: *He shouts* AYE! INDEED I SAID FATHER IS BACK!
Balwin: *much scurrying and rushing around is heard inside the room*
Randir: I will go now and leave you to.... prepare yourself.... and give your "company" time to hide, but do not doubt for one instant, little brother, I do not know exactly what goes on when father is away!
Balwin: *the girl whispers* What? What do I do now?
Balwin: *Balwin replies* hide in the closet, quick!
Randir: Now *he says in a sly voice* Do you wish again to have my silence about this escapade?
Balwin: *loud whine to Randir* You are always giving me grief! Never giving me the benefit of the doubt? How do you KNOW I was acting against Father's wishes?
Balwin: *girlish laughter, more shushing*
Randir: *he still waits outside the door, his ear pressing against it* Brother, now what will you do for ME in exchange?
Balwin: *gulps wine* Oh, Randir, you conniving snake *annoyed* What do you want now?
Randir: Father's wishes? He wants to see you betrothed and safely wed, not debauching yourself with the palace servants!
Balwin: Hahaha! But what if the servants are prettier than my..."intended"....hah! What if they're prettier, eh?
Balwin: *laughter and kissing behind the door*
Randir: *still listens at the door* Now if you want my silence about this, yet another one of your "indiscretions," you can have it, but I intend to have payment in the future!
Balwin: Oh, what do you want?
Randir: As you know, little brother, I have kept my silence about many of your "exploits." Remember the night I had to go to the tavern, where I found you drunken, dancing and singing with TWO wenches! I never told father about that!
Balwin: Haha! That was good!
Lord Lorthang: *meanwhile, in lorthangs study, one of his servants comes by and pours him and bafowel goblets of wine. the servant also takes off lorthangs boots at his request, and lorthang wiggles his fat toes beneath the table, airing them off*
Bafowel: *Bafowel takes a seat opposite his father and burps*
Randir: *sly, he moves back from the door in case Balwin deliberately opens it in the attempt to hit him in the head* Good! It was disgusting!
Randir: I never told father about that, nor have I told him about any other of the scrapes you have gotten into
Balwin: *with a smirk in his voice* Just like a good brother.
Randir: But your bill with me is adding up, and I will claim my price later at an advantageous time. Now little brother, if you are fully dressed now and still able to walk, see father in his study. I go there now!
Balwin: *Balwin whines and groans*
Balwin: *then whispers to the girl to hurry*
Randir: *Thinks to himself... Digusting younger brother! He is the disgrace of the family! He is not as I, who does everything in moderation and with utmost decorum. I should be the heir to our father, not the fat drunken fool that is my elder brother!*
Balwin: *Soon a girl in a low-cut, bright dress scurries down the corridor, followed by the disheveled Balwin, a very handsome boy, if he ever dressed properly or combed his hair*
Balwin: *Balwin shoves the girl in the direction of the servant's quarters, then makes slow progress toward Lorthang's study*
Randir: *Going down the hall, he opens the door to his father's study* Father, my younger brother was........busy, but he hastens to see you
Randir: *He goes inside and sits down at the table, and assumes a signified air, an air of righteousness*
Bafowel: *Bafowel smirks and chuckles to himself at Randir's words*
Bafowel: *he makes a mental note to ask Balwin about it later and have a good laugh*
Lord Lorthang: ah randir, my middle son.... servant! get him a goblet of wine! *the servant behind lorthangs chair pours randir a goblet of wine and places it in front of him*
Randir: *He takes the wine and daintily savors the essence of it, moving the goblet back and forth under his nose* A good vintage, father!
Randir: *Then he takes a small sip and looks at his father*
Balwin: *Balwin buttons only one button on his weskit--into the wrong hole. He runs his fingers through his hair, then plasters a phony grin onto his face and enters his father's study*
Lord Lorthang: *lorthang looks up to see balwin coming into the room* ah, my youngest son! welcome, welcome! have a chair. servant! get him a goblet of wine!
Lord Lorthang: *the servant behind lorthangs chair sighs and goes to pour balwin a goblet of wine*
Randir: Now, Father *delicately, he sips another drink of wine* tell us about your journey
Balwin: *Balwin flops into the chair and greedily drinks the wine. Comes up for air with a saccharine grin at his father and brothers* Ah, Father
Balwin: Good to have you back. Randir, good to see you *glares* Bafowel! *grins*
Randir: *He looks disdainfully at each brother*
Bafowel: *Bafowel grins back at his brother with a knowing smile, and shakes his head chuckling. Balwin shushes him*
Lord Lorthang: *wonders.... perhaps, if they are drunk enough, the shock of the news will have some of its edge taken off. he picks up his goblet of wine and takes a drink*
Randir: *He puts his wine goblet back on the table, having only taken a few sips of it* Father, in your absence, I have..... persevered, but...... it was a trial
Bafowel: *Bafowel and Balwin roll their eyes*
Lord Lorthang: that is indeed good to hear, randir. but... there is a reason why i have brought you here, for a purpose. but perhaps... you would like to have some more wine? *asks hopefully*
Bafowel: *Bafowel and Balwin eagerly take more wine*
Randir: *He looks at the wine glass, then takes a perfectly manicured, clean finger and strokes the wine glass with it* Father, you know I am a man of moderation and too much wine this early is a poor practice *he says piously*
Balwin: *Balwin, next to Randir, hisses* Oh, Randir, do give it a rest.
Lord Lorthang: ah...well.... what news of my household during my absence? *he says, looking at the three, wishing to stall a bit before breaking the news to them*
Randir: *He looks at Balwin and raises an eyebrow* Give what a rest? *he smiles a sickeningly sweet smile*
Balwin: *Balwin shoots back a sneering, mocking fake grin*
Randir: Father *he sighs with mock weariness* it appears that you have insulted one of the vassal lords in some manner and he is greatly indignant about the occasion
Lord Lorthang: *wonders which one it was this time. he often had trouble remembering visits to other lords' halls*
Lord Lorthang: which one, randir? *he takes a heavy drink of the wine*
Randir: *He shuts his eyes, and stops stroking the wine glass* Only your most important vassal, father....
Bafowel: *Bafowel watches Randir with resentment. As the oldest, HE should be telling this story, not Randir....if he could remember which vassal lord it was.*
Randir: Lord Beomir, father
Bafowel: Yes! Lord Beomir! He is greatly offended, Father.
Randir: And, might I remind you, he has many men of arms at his disposal. It is not wise to insult such powerful lords
Balwin: *Balwin yawns*
Lord Lorthang: oh.... lord beomir. *strokes his beard thoughtfully, trying to remember what happened that night. his fingernail hits a piece of dried food in the beard, he picks it out*
Randir: *He raises his hand languidly* But father, I have settled the matter and pacified him with a gift of thirty sheep and twenty kine
Lord Lorthang: good, good, but may i ask why bafowel didn't take care of the matter?
Bafowel: *Bafowel's face grows hot* Why did you do this without my permisson in Father's absence? You conniving little sneak!
Randir: ah father *he taps his two index fingers together* He was not.... ahh..... feeling well that day *he looks to his brother with a smirking smile*
Bafowel: I did not even know he had done it, Father! He did it behind my back!
Randir: But brother, I am very direct in my dealings, and I never do anything behind your back *he smiles a false smile*
Bafowel: *Bafowel was having a...meeting...in his room that day with a...friend.*
Bafowel: Then how come I did not know of it? *he shouts*
Randir: Father *he says in a false voice of concern* my poor brother was quite unable to deal with Lord Beomir because he was....ah..... ill that day *smirks*
Lord Lorthang: *he sighs heavly* well, in the future, make all dealings between vassal lords known and public.
Lord Lorthang: *he clears his throat* but! i have brought you all here for a purpose.
Randir: *momentarily, his eyes become dark and narrow, but he quickly changes his facial expression to one of great concern*
Randir: But father, your trip. Let us not be concerned about matters in the past
Bafowel: *Bafowel leans forward with a half curious, half confused expression*
Lord Lorthang: ah, the trip, the trip. a bit dull. *he pretends to stifle a yawn* but, i must discuss something with you all.
Balwin: *Balwin raises his dull, languid eyes and stifles a yawn. He takes another gulp of wine and attempts to listen to his father*
Lord Lorthang: as you know, nurn is a backwoods place, filled with slaves and commoners. very vulgar folk.
Randir: *He thinks to himself, aye, indeed, but none quite so vulgar as my own family*
Lord Lorthang: i have been offered a lordship in another land that is of much higher quality than this simple place
Bafowel: Oh Father! That is wonderful!
Bafowel: *A better inheritance for me! he thinks*
Randir: *Takes another small sip of his wine* Higher, father? What do you mean? What could be higher than what you already are?
Lord Lorthang: i am to be a lord in occupied gondor, and rule from minas artano. we have ten days to prepare for the journey.
Bafowel: Minas Artano! You are to rule all of Minas Artano?
Randir: *he looks to his father with a supercilious look on his face* Rather hasty notice, isn't it father?
Lord Lorthang: nay, not all of minas artano, but i shall be a lord in that land. ah... hasty notice, randir? ah.... the notice was a bit delayed in reaching me.
Randir: Father, however was it "delayed"?
Lord Lorthang: *he takes another heavy sip of wine and waves his hand dismissively* oh, you know, things happen.
Bafowel: *Bafowel's face falls. How he would have liked to be lord of all of Minas Artano!*
Randir: *he looks at his elder and younger brother and thinks... two simpletons, I cannot believe I am related to them, for verily I exhibit eloquences not otherwise noted in my sire's blood.*
Balwin: *Balwin lounges in his chair with a smirk. Minas Artano--there should be good drinking and partying there. And he has heard the lasses are quite fair, with dark hair and grey eyes*
Balwin: *But he hopes their riches will be just as great, or even greater, and that the trip will not cause him any inconvenience.*
Lord Lorthang: but anyway, we have ten days to leave. minas artano is a beautiful city, i am told, filled with many riches.
Randir: *He raises his head* But father, what are you going to do there? All you know is farming. You have been here all your life
Lord Lorthang: oh.... i shall be too busy counting my newfound treasures to think much of farming, so i shall appoint advisers to take care of that! *he laughs, trying to hide his nervousness*
Balwin: *yawns* Surely there is farmland in Minas Artano! And as Father said, the advisors will take care of it. How can you support anything without farmland?
Lord Lorthang: since i will aquire so many riches in gondor, i am leaving behind a large amount of my property in nurn. i shall give it to shakh baggins as a token of my undying friendship to the dwarf lord
Balwin: *He thinks, just as long as I don't have to worry about any of it, it will be fine.*
Balwin: *Balwin and Bafowel let out a simultaneous groan of protest*
Randir: *He thinks to himself: My brother Balwin is a man of little thought and many words. Farming... there are many other ways to support yourself than that, but that is all he can think. His sights are so low*
Lord Lorthang: *he waves his hands at bafowel and balwins groans* have no fear! we shall regain all losses twofold in minas artano.
Bafowel: But Father! Why not take your riches TO Minas Artano? That way I--you will have even more!
Randir: But father, whyever in the name of Melkor are you giving your goods to the dwarf!
Randir: And father, might I add, what will be left to us!
Bafowel: I hear the snivelling dwarf is sickly anyway. What if he dies? All your treasure will be wasted!
Lord Lorthang: my sons! we shall regain all in minas artano. have no fear.
Bafowel: *Bafowel seethes*
Randir: *amazed that his brother Bafowel has wit enough to consider that, he says* Father, I think it is very unwise to give away anything. Who told you you had to do this?
Lord Lorthang: the dwarf is a friend of sauron. giving him such a noble gift of the largest part of my property shall bring good relations with lugburz and the western province
Balwin: *Balwin pushes himself up just a little in his chair, then raises his goblet of wine* Well, I say, if Father says we will stay rich, we will stay rich. It will all be taken care of. It will be fun!
Balwin: To Minas Artano! *toasts and drinks deeply*
Randir: *Too cunning and sly to believe a word of his father's tale, he thinks.... Father is ever a fool. He says* But who, father, who, said that we must do this?
Balwin: *Balwin is a young, spoiled boy who blindly trusts his father to provide everything while he amuses himself in taverns*
Lord Lorthang: *to randir he says* i am giving one tenth of my riches, slaves and beasts to the dwarf out of the goodness of my heart. *which is partially the truth*
Lord Lorthang: *he raises his goblet and says excitedly* aye! to minas artano and our newfound fortunes there!
Randir: *He thinks.... The goodness of his heart. Ha! There is no goodness in my father's heart*
Randir: Father, while I appreciate your generosity, I am concerned about the wisdom of what you are planning to do
Balwin: Hear hear! Wench! More wine! *smiles flirtatiously at the wench when she fills his goblet*
Randir: *He looks over at Balwin with disgust and sips his wine*
Lord Lorthang: have no fear of the wisdom in my most gracious gift, randir! my treasures now are nothing compared to those of minas artano. i wager that even walls of the servants quarters shall be guilded in gold and jewels!
Randir: Father, do you not know that this ruins the chances of our beloved sister Sirana to find a suitable husband in Nurn?
Lord Lorthang: *he drinks from his goblet again* ah.... the lords of gondor are more worthy than those of nurn.
Bafowel: Father...what of my inheritance? Am I to be pulled from a position of lordship to a lesser one?! *turns up his nose*
Randir: And you think she can find a husband in Gondor? *thinks to himself: The old fool, he is now in his dotage*
Lord Lorthang: of course not, bafowel! as i said, in gondor we shall gain more than we ever lost.
Randir: Inheritance, Bafowel? What inheritance? Can't you see that you are being stripped of your inheritance right now? *he smirks*
Lord Lorthang: *he shoots a warning glance to randir*
Randir: Father, I am sorry, I spoke in haste. *he reaches out languidly and takes his goblet and sips from it*
Bafowel: *Bafowel stands up angrily, knocking over his chair* Randir, you had better not be plotting against me behind my back! Or when I come into my power, you shall surely regret it!
Bafowel: *His attempt to look intmidating is frustrated by his drunken swaying*
Randir: But *he says superciliously* do I need to remind you that Gondor is no longer the land of the descendants of the Seakings but is filled with the rabble of mixed races? Haradrim, Umbarians, and who knows what other scum?
Lord Lorthang: gondor is now under the rule of the great lord of lugburz, and under his ordering. are you questioning that?
Bafowel: And Father! I have done nothing to deserve being deprived of my inheritance! We must get it back! We shall do whatever it takes, won't we?
Lord Lorthang: *he smiels reassuringly at bafowel* of course you have done nothing, and your inheritance shall be doubled in gondor.
Bafowel: Doubled! Ah good! *sits back down, only the chair is now knocked over, and he falls backwards on top of it*
Randir: Surely, father, you do not wish to mingle our blood with that of lesser men?
Randir: Does Lord Sauron wish us to demean ourselves in such a manner? Our bloodline has been pure for many ages!
Lord Lorthang: i was given my new lordship by on high. it is their will, and a reward to me for my rule of the southern province...
Bafowel: *cursing, he rights the chair and gets back into it*
Randir: Well then brothers and father, what of my own inheritance?
Lord Lorthang: *he waves his hand dismissively* it will be doubled like everyone else's
Bafowel: *mutters under his breath*
Balwin: *a little gleam of alertness appears in Balwin's eyes* And mine?
Randir: Yet, father *he takes another sip* considering the fact that my inheritance now is naught, then I am to have that in twice measure?
Balwin: What is my inheritance? I am a better son than Randir so I should get more.
Lord Lorthang: you will all get your proper share of the treasure, have no fears.
Balwin: *smiles smugly*
Randir: Brother, indeed, I am very willing to give you my share of the inheritance, since it equals nothing by rule of primogenitor
Bafowel: *Bafowel grins smugly at them, sipping his wine arrogantly*
Lord Lorthang: *he begins to get frustrated with randir* all the better then, for it will be easier to pack. we only have ten days, as you know.
Balwin: *whines* But Faaatheeer! He said I won't get any inheritance!
Randir: Aye, indeed, sire, nothing is very easily packed, but I know the riches that you have left to my elder brother and I feel confident that my younger brother will find ways to leech off Bafowel's share
Lord Lorthang: *waves his hand again* none of you should trouble yourselves uselessly. the more talking we do, the less time we have to prepare to embark for our new home!
Randir: *Thinks to himself: It is not easy to be a disliked middle son and to have to live off the largess of relatives*
Balwin: But...the servants will do all the packing, won't they? *worried about having to do any unpleasant work*
Randir: Father you have condemned yourself to a life of a petty beaurucrat and by doing so, you have equally condemned us!
Lord Lorthang: of course, of course, the servants will do everything. we shall set off with all of our belongings, and leave a tenth of them at baggins hall when we pass there
Randir: *he takes another dainty sip* Father, perhaps I do not understand, so I will say in my own words what I think you are telling me. Towit, we leave our homeland, greatly lessened in goods and servants
Randir: To go to a place whither we have never been to an uncertain position and asked to wed lesser races
Randir: Am I correct father? *takes another small sip*
Bafowel: *Bafowel is confused between his father's and Randir's words, and very angry. He drinks deeply of his wine and curtly demands more*
Lord Lorthang: randir, you make it sound like some evil has befallen, which it has not. i am looking forward greatly to leaving nurn.
Randir: *closes his eyes, rests his mouth on his fingers, sighs with resignation*
Lord Lorthang: *he clears his throat dramatically* now, since i have brought you tidings of our removal, i call this meeting of the family to ajourn.
Bafowel: *mutters grimly* We had better regain everything we lose tenfold!
Randir: *He thinks to himself: Meeting of the family? What has it been? My father simpers in his dotage, my brothers half drunken, and me, the only one of the group with any wits*
Lord Lorthang: of course, of course, in gondor, in gondor. *he finishes his wine goblet, scoots his chair back. the servant puts his boots back on and lorthang gets to his feet*
Balwin: *toasts the trip again, anxious to get back to the servant girls*
Randir: *He raises his head, then finishes his wine goblet* Hold elder brother, I wish words with you
Bafowel: *scowls at Randir, then imitates him mockingly* Oh? You "wish words with me"?
Lord Lorthang: well, my boys, i am going hunting and will not be back until the even. farewell, my sons! *after lorthang walks briskly out of the study*
Randir: *looks at his elder brother with a patronizing smile*
Randir: Farewell, Father, may your hunt go well. Perhaps I shall join you later
Randir: Yes, brother, indeed I wish words with you
Randir: Can you not see what our father has done? He has given away our gold, our slaves, our posessions, for what? An uncertain future in Gondor? And we must leave our home to set off to what?
Randir: Answer me, brother. I yield to the superior wisdom of your age *he says mockingly*
Bafowel: *clenches his fists and grits his teeth* You heard what Father said. That is not true!
Bafowel: And if we lose anything, we will gain it back!
Bafowel: Don't worry brother *he sneers* I will gather enough wealth to provide for you upon Father's death
Randir: *Looks at his brother with utter contempt* I think I shall go with father hunting. Good afternoon, older brother *he says with disdain*
Balwin: *When his father and brothers leave, Balwin lazily gets out of the chair, gulps down the rest of his wine and goes to saddle his horse for a last hurrah at the tavern*
Randir: *After leaving the room, he goes to the stables, orders a servant to saddle his horse, rides off to follow his father hunting*
Bafowel: *Bafowel stays behind to go count the money they have left*
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